Making my way, every day;
Walking the road, bearing the load.
Making it a little, but not all alone;
Starting a life, getting it going.
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Just a man, pausing in his daily walk to ponder.
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Tuesday, October 14, 2003
So maybe I didn't get as much resolved during the summer as I thought. Facing up to your past is often a hard thing to do, and facing what you took on blind faith in childhood as an adult makes it doubly so. Not that that changes anything; it just makes me ask more questions, mostly about myself. Still got the same foundation, just a different building on top of it. But that doesn't really help much with the other things, but in a way it does. I can reasonably state that I know that everything in my life will work out "for the best" but that statement seems like a rationalization when I think about how little I may know of what is best for me or how to achieve it. Sometimes, I wish I could just go back to being able to let it go at the simple answer, but that's not how I was made, apparently. I keep asking questions of myself that don't seem to have answers. And I keep not finding "answers" to my more outwardly directed questions, as well. And, to top it off, I still am having no success in making a go of social activity of any kind. Oh well. I suppose I can only take the cards I'm dealt and play them for what I can. I just don't want to have to fold before the payoff. *sigh*
1:15 AM
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