Making my way, every day;
Walking the road, bearing the load.
Making it a little, but not all alone;
Starting a life, getting it going.
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Just a man, pausing in his daily walk to ponder.
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Wednesday, February 27, 2002
Well, it's been a week since I posted last, but there hasn't been much change. I'm still very bummed, but at least spring break starts this weekend. Maybe 10 days of very minimal stress will get me back on my feet so I can face up to the march to the end of my undergraduate career. Speaking of which, I'm at a quandry. I wonder, which is more stressful: surviving a schedule full of very difficult classes (and time consuming as well), applying to get into graduate school, or roomates that suck? While it's probably a three way tie between those, I'm really frustrated with the people I live with. I mean, I can only bend over backwards to make everything work for so long - eventually even I need a break. I wonder if Atlas felt like that sometimes? Of course, if I could - in good conscience - DO something about my living problems, I would, but it would go against my very nature to do what probably needs to be done. I should never have let it happen that my roomie's sig fig moved in. I should have drawn the line seven (or is it eight?) long months ago, and thus I wouldn't be so frustrated, stressed, and angry right now. Sure, I may not be the dream roomie, but I try as best I can. And here I am getting berated, taken advantage of, used and abused, and generally crapped on. I realize that other people have stress and problems too, but do they have to come into MY freaking house and then have the gall to take them out ON ME, simply because I don't think it's right for me to have to do all the sacrificing? It's obviously not fair, but, as any adult will tell you, life isn't fair. They'd probably also tell you that if someone came into their residence and made this kind of trouble, that the source of the trouble would be evicted so fast its head would spin. I'm just too innately good/soft-hearted to do that to someone else, especially someone as unfortunate as this one is. Yes, I wish the situation weren't this way, but No, I'm not gonna do something that puts someone else a good long way up shit creek right after I make off with the paddle(s). I'll just have to keep reminding myself that next year, I get to live ALONE. Ah, how wonderful that sounds!
10:33 PM
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