Making my way, every day;
Walking the road, bearing the load.
Making it a little, but not all alone;
Starting a life, getting it going.
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Just a man, pausing in his daily walk to ponder.
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Friday, January 18, 2002
Tomorrow is Friday (actually today, but I haven't slept yet) - what a glorious thought! The first week is over, and all of its trouble with it: all the scheduling hassles, the readjusting to normal sleep patterns, seeing more than 4 people in a day. It can almost get to be too much for you. @;^) This weekend seems to be shaping up to be similar to most every other one - spending a lot of time by myself, sitting in the house. I'll likely be reading - for classes - and hopefully, I'll even enjoy my readings. Not counting on it. I'd much rather be OUT somewhere, but given my status as sarcastic loner/cynic/introvert, my social life is pretty much a flop, so it looks like I'll be keeping myself company again. And I was just getting used to voices that are different from the usual chorus in my head. . . . Maybe they'll all stop fighting now, anyway. Maybe going away to school again will be a better thing for me than I picture - I may finally "reinvent the wheel", as they say and find an environment that's conducive to my socialness. Maybe so, and maybe not - I don't think I'll hold my breath waiting to find people that think like I do (I'm not even entirely sure that they exist, or should). I REALLY wish I was in Washington, too. Got stuff that needs to be taken care of, and I'd need to be there to do it. Seeing that I'm NOT anywhere even remotely nearby, I'm forced to conclude that waiting is my best (only) option on this one. I guess this whole dating game/scene/thing is just beyond my ken - I don't get it, I probably never will, and obviously, if you don't know the rules, it's hard to play the game. Ah well, that's an issue for another day - I'm kinda tired of thinking right now, what with skool and all. Looks like a fine time to get some sleep, I'd say, and so I bid the world adieu!
12:18 AM
Sunday, January 13, 2002
Oh, the joy of college life! *end sarcasm* Ok, so classes start tomorrow, and so tonight is something of an unhappy one, if for no other reason than that I enjoyed this break - despite the moutain of stress that came with it (that still isn't overcome quite yet). Ah well. I know, somewhere deep in my brain, that life can't always be play - much though I might like for it to be - and so in a sense, I'm ready to go back. On the other hand, I wish I had another eternity, just to spend with the people I care about (it would be really nice if they were all in the same general area). And, on another "Charlie Brown" kind of note, I really wish my little red-haired girl would send me a message now and again. My brain wants to tell me that she's out of my league, and my guts says that she'd never go for a guy like me - she's got class, I've got red-neck; she's beautiful, I'm only passable; and so on, and so on - but my heart tells me otherwise. It just doesn't tell me enough - and neither does she. Maybe that will change in the not-too-distant future (I hope) and maybe it won't, but regardless of the time-frame, I will find out what I need to know. And, hopefully, I'll find out that my little red-haired girl really DOES like me.
@:^)
11:07 PM
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